Judge not and be ye not judged...
(Photo: Pestera Sf Teodora, Sihla - source)
Before I leave Bucharest for another lovely few days in the mountains, I have two stories to tell you. Please scroll down to see the Romanian translation by Mihaela. Thank you very much indeed.
With all my heart, I do not wish to upset anyone or make any kind of judgement. I wish only to understand and be understood, and hope that my readers will shed some light on two situations in which I was placed recently because of the religion into which I was born.
A little background first: I was born Anglican (ie. Church of England - Episcopalian in the US), my primary school was what we call a 'church school' (ie, the children go to church once a week), went to church regularly from a young age, sang in the choir and was a server from the age of twelve. I was confirmed when I was 15 - a choice I made myself. Anglicanism is not a sect, for those who may not know. England was catholic until Henry VIII (see below left - source) decided he wanted to sleep with Anne Boleyn and divorce his first wife Catherine of Aragon in the 1520s. Anne would not allow it until she was queen (she was an intelligent cookie who knew exactly what she wanted and how to get it); the Pope refused to grant Henry a divorce and thus, after much cloak and dagger soap opera style shenanigans, he told the Pope to get knotted (to cut a long story short), 'legally' (ahum) divorced Catherine, married Anne and made himself head of the Church of England... The reformation whereby the Church of England and the state separated took place in the mid-XVI century. Anglicanism is NOT a new fad. It is a religion. A faith. It is a tradition of Christianity. For more, should that still be unclear, please see THIS link. Our Eucharist is practically the same as in the Orthodox church (and 
Catholic too, for that matter) and the only real differences I see are that we do not revere Mary, mother of Jesus (though she has a chapel in every anglican church and much of our Evensong is dedicated to her in sung psalms) and we do not give much importance to the saints except in readings. For a typical version of the Eucharist should you be interested, please see HERE.
And so, with the above paragraph in mind, I will tell you the couple of stories that have occurred over the last few weeks in the country of my heart which have upset me.
I adore monasteries and churches, particularly here in Romania. I love the peace, the quiet, the feeling of spirituality, I love the smell and although I wouldn't like to stay in one for longer than a few hours (retreats are not my thing since it means having to stop talking!!), visiting them and admiring their beauty and simplicity is something I appreciate deeply. Perhaps you have already read my post on Tarnita, Vrancea - if so, you will understand exactly what I mean.
Earlier on this month, I visited a church. I sat for a long time revelling in the perfume of wood and incense, lost in thought. As I was leaving, a nun was nearby and I asked where the donation box was. She showed me and asked if I had any names I would like to give her for prayer. I said that yes, I did, and she then asked me if I was Orthodox. I told her I was Anglican and her response was that in this case she could not take my names for intercessory prayer. Rather taken aback, I said that I could not, therefore, give a donation, for it was incorrect to accept my money and yet refuse to pray for those who needed it, Orthodox or not. In my own church, anyone is accepted at the altar and although, unless confirmed, they can not take communion, they can be blessed whatever their faith and intercessions are for mankind in general. She was very kind, said even that she agreed but what could she do. She could not disobey and make exceptions that carried such weight. I left feeling saddened with the thought that we were all Christians so why this barrier...
(Photo: Pestera Sf Teodora, Sihla - source) Story number 2: As friends and I were exploring the area around Sihla near Agapia, we fell upon a signpost to the caves of Sf Teodora. Curious, we followed the directions, climbed the rocks and arrived at a narrow cave. Within it, people were praying amongst lit candles and icons. Outside the caveto one side was a table full of books and more icons but nothing about Sf Teodora. To the other side, a priest sat with a box of candles for sale. I asked my friend if she would find out from the priest who Sf Teodora was - please click on the hyperlink to learn more, for the priest didn't tell us.
"What is the story of Sf Teodora?" she asked him.
He took umbrage at the word "story" and gave her a good dressing down. He then looked at the three of us.
"Are you Romanian?" he asked.
"We two are and our friend is English."
He was unimpressed.
"What is her religion?" he asked her, indicating to me.
""I am Anglican," I replied.
There followed a diatribe about people who were on the wrong path and thus didn't believe in God. It was judgemental and condemning. A little group of those also visiting the cave began to form around us hanging on to the priest's every word, glaring at me as if I were some kind of devil incarnate.
"There are many paths to God," replied my friend, rather bravely I thought, in the face of such aggressivity.
Wrong answer!
At this point, I was so appalled that I muttered "such ignorance - nu ati rusine?!" under my breath and left.
"What is your profession?" he then asked her.
"I am an economist".
His response? "Then you will be the first to be damned."
I'm glad that I didn't hear that... I will not say anymore, for just writing the above has made my blood boil again. I would be grateful for insight, perhaps something that will make me feel a little better for right now, I feel as if I never want to enter another Orthodox church or monastery ever again, which of course, would be silly. But I am hurt. I am astonished. Actually, I am incredulous.
I would like to add that these two stories are pretty much exceptions to the rule in my twelve years of coming and going to and from Romania, although I have often felt judged unfairly by priests (particularly) because of the faith into which I was born in a country where Orthodoxy is a miniscule minority.
Over to you.
___________________________________________________________________
Înainte de a pleca din București iarăși, pentru alte câteva zile minunate la munte, aș vrea să vă povestesc două lucruri. Vă spun din tot sufletul că nu doresc să supăr pe nimeni și nici să judec în vreun fel. Vreau doar să înțeleg și să fiu înțeleasă și sper ca cititorii mei să facă un pic de lumină în legătură cu două situații în care am fost pusă recent, din cauza religiei în care m-am născut.
Dar mai întâi, un pic de informare prealabilă: sunt născută în denominațiunea anglicană (cu alte cuvinte, Biserica Angliei – sau Episcopală, în Statele Unite); școala primară unde am mers era ceea ce numim noi „școală duminicală” (unde copiii merg la biserică o dată pe săptămână); am mers la biserică periodic de la o vârstă fragedă, am cântat în corul bisericii și am fost ajutor de preot de la vârsta de 12 ani. Am primit confirmarea când aveam 15 ani – a fost alegerea mea. Anglicanismul nu este o sectă – pentru cei care nu știu. Anglia a fost o țară catolică până când Henric al VIII-lea a decis că vroia să aibă o relație cu Anne Boleyn și a divorțat de prima lui soție, Caterina de Aragon, prin 1520. Anne nu a acceptat relația cu el fără să devină regină (era o fată isteață, care știa perfect ce vrea și cum să-l obțină); Papa i-a refuzat lui Henric divorțul și atunci, după multă agitație de operetă de tip „capă și spadă”, Henric i-a spus Papei „pași” (ca să nu mai lungim povestea), a divorțat „legal” (tușesc...) de Caterina, s-a căsătorit cu Anna și s-a numit singur capul Bisericii Angliei...
Reforma prin care Biserica Angliei s-a separat de stat a avut loc la mijlocul secolului al XVI-lea. Anglicanismul NU este un moft de azi, de ieri. Este o religie. O credință. Este o tradiție a creștinismului. Dacă doriți să aflați mai multe, în caz că tot ce am spus până acum nu este clar, vă rog să intrați pe ACEST link. Împărtășania noastră este, practic, aceeași ca în Biserica Ortodoxă (și cea catolică), singurele diferențe reale pe care le văd eu fiind că noi nu o cinstim pe Fecioara Maria, Maica Domnului (deși are o capelă în fiecare biserică anglicană și o mare parte din cântările psaltice din vecerniile noastre îi este dedicată) și nu dăm mare importanță sfinților, cu excepția lecturilor. Dacă sunteți interesați să vedeți o versiune tipică a Euharistiei, vă rog să intrați AICI.
Așadar, cu paragraful de mai sus în minte, am să vă povestesc cele două întâmplări prin care am trecut în ultimele două săptămâni, în țara inimii mele și care m-au întristat.
Ador mănăstirile și bisericile, mai ales pe cele de aici, din România. Iubesc pacea, liniștea, sentimentul de spiritualitate; iubesc mirosul din aceste locuri și, deși nu mi-ar plăcea să stau într-un astfel de loc mai mult de câteva ore (locurile retrase nu sunt genul meu, pentru că înseamnă că trebuie să nu mai vorbesc!!!), totuși, îmi place enorm să le vizitez și să le admir frumusețea și simplitatea. Poate mi-ați citit deja articolul despre Tarnita, Vrancea – dacă da, o să înțelegeți exact ce vreau să spun.
Mai spre începutul acestei luni, am vizitat o biserică. Am stat timp îndelungat și m-am bucurat de mirosul lemnului și al tămâiei, pierdută în gânduri. Când să plec, o măicuță era prin apropiere și am întrebat-o unde e cutia milei. Mi-a arătat și m-a întrebat dacă am niște nume pe care să i le dau, pentru pomenire. I-am spus că da și apoi m-a întrebat dacă sunt ortodoxă. I-am spus că sunt anglicană, iar răspunsul ei a fost că în cazul ăsta, nu putea lua lista cu nume pentru rugăciune. Un pic șocată, i-am spus că nici eu nu puteam atunci să las o donație pentru biserică, pentru că ar fi incorect să-mi fie acceptați banii și în acelați timp să mi se refuze rugăciunea pentru cei care au nevoie de ea – fie ei ortodocși sau nu. În biserica noastră, toată lumea este acceptată la altar - și deși nu pot lua cuminecătura fără să fie confirmați, toți pot primi binecuvântare, indiferent de credința lor; iar rugăciunile de mijlocire sunt pentru toți oamenii. Măicuța a fost foarte blândă; mi-a spus chiar că e de acord cu mine, dar nu are încotro. Nu putea să nu facă ascultare și să facă excepții de o asemenea importanță. Am plecat întristată, gândindu-mă că toți suntem creștini - și atunci, de ce aceste bariere...?
A doua poveste: Într-o zi, în timp ce cutreieram împrejurimile mănăstirilor Sihla și Agapia împreună cu niște prietene, am dat peste un indicator care ne îndrepta spre peștera Sfintei Teodora. Curioase, am urmat indicațiile, ne-am cățărat pe stânci și am ajuns la o peșteră strâmtă. Înăuntru erau oameni care se rugau, printre lumânări aprinse și icoane. În afara peșterii, în lateral, era o masă plină cu cărți și mai multe icoane, dar nimic despre Sfânta Teodora. De cealaltă parte era așezat un preot, lângă o cutie cu lumânări de vânzare. Am rugat-o pe prietena mea să-l întrebe cine a fost Sfânta Teodora - faceți clic pe hiperlink pentru a afla mai multe, pentru că preotul nu ne-a spus.
- Care e povestea Sfintei Teodora? l-a întrebat prietena mea.
Preotul s-a întunecat la față la cuvântul „poveste” și i-a tras o săpuneală serioasă. Apoi s-a uitat la toate trei.
- Sunteți românce? ne-a întrebat.
- Noi două, da, iar prietena noastră e englezoaică.
Nici o reacție.
- De ce religie este? a întrebat-o pe prietena mea, arătând spre mine.
- Sunt anglicană, am răspuns eu.
A urmat un discurs virulent despre oamenii care sunt pe calea greșită și deci, nu cred în Dumnezeu. Era plin de judecată și osândire. Un grupuleț de persoane care vizitau și ele peștera a început să se strângă în jurul nostru, sorbind fiecare cuvânt al părintelui și fixându-mă de parcă eram nu știu ce diavol în carne și oase.
- La Dumnezeu se ajunge pe multe căi, a replicat prietena mea – cu mult curaj, după părerea mea, în fața unei asemenea agresivități.
Răspuns greșit!
În punctul ăsta, eram atât de îngrozită, încât am bombănit: „Atâta ignoranță! Nu-ți e rușine?!” cu jumătate de voce și am plecat.
- Ce profesie ai? a întrebat-o după aceea pe prietena mea.
- Sunt economist.
Răspunsul lui? „Atunci, o să fii prima osândită la iad.”
Mă bucur că n-am fost acolo să aud asta... Mă opresc aici, pentru că numai scriind cele de mai sus și îmi fierbe sângele în vine, iarăși. Aș fi recunoscătoare pentru orice comentarii care să mă facă să înțeleg aceste reacții – poate ceva care să mă facă să mă simt mai bine, pentru că în momentul ăsta, simt că nu mai vreau să intru niciodată în vreo altă biserică sau mănăstire ortodoxă – ceea ce, bineînțeles, ar fi prostesc. Dar mă doare. Sunt uluită. De fapt, nu-mi vine să cred.
Aș vrea să adaug că aceste două întâmplări sunt în mare măsură excepții de la regulă, în toți cei doisprezece ani de când vin și plec din România, cu toate că m-am simțit de multe ori judecată nedrept de preoți (mai ales) din cauza credinței în care m-am născut, într-o țară în care ortodoxia este o minoritate minusculă.
Și acum, e rândul dumneavoastră să comentați.
Commentaires sur Judge not and be ye not judged...
- forget the people from the country you love!Romania is a primitive country. The orthodox church is almost as radical and intolerant as some versions of the islam. As a famous singer-songwriter of jewish origin from Vienna would say: "was wäre wien ohne wiener?" what would be romania without romanians? A pleasant, quiet place, where no japanese are killed by stray dogs or by human monsters/taxidrivers. This country obliges those who love it, to a quite difficult relationship. It is a country that excruciates you when you dare to love it. It robs your wallet if you visit it, it lets you learn that they don't casre about tourists. An their politicians don't care about the european commission. Romania is a country of those "caine raios, dar cu coada-n sus". It is so sad to be born there, it is a misfortune.
- just stop showing off your anglican or whatever u think.
we dont believe in virgin mary? maybe you should start your discussion like that next time cause i bet he knew that.its not that it was anglican he knew the virgin mary part and that upsets me too. whats the point in not believing that and making another entire new branch religion with a twist. What annoys me more is that after an article like this you get some idiot kids starting phrases about their own country with;romania is a primitive country...... its bad articles that instantly tilt the younger brainwashed generation, growing up with the idea that the rest of the world is great...only here is bad ...omg. Economist lol.another made up word wihch will last for exactly 123 years lol. but hey we re all economists now. - Oi, you are clearly an idiot. Sarah, thank you tons for what are you doing for our country promoting it in ways Romanians wouldn't be able to. First of all I admire your incredible insight of Romanian culture and mentality. You are remarcable and your articles truly astonish me. You have the eye and the mind of an anthropologyst and the heart of an idealist. I have not seen such love for Romania from not even 1% of Romania's population. People like oi are a shame for our people and don't get what effort you make to unveil the mysteries of Romania. You were able to submerge yourself in the Romanian culture - Only Kudos from my end! About the Sihla experience, It doesn't surprise me - I come from that area and yes Orthodox monks tend to be very shovinistic and disrespectful towards other religions but what can you expect from a group of peasants retreated in high mountains anf venerated as Holy?What can you expect from people who have only read the Orthodox dogma books - mainly written during the middle ages? You should never apologize for "not believing" or try to explain why you are not an orthodox christian... You are marvelous! Keep up the fantastic work! A Romanian girl
- Don’t be upset, dearThe world is full of all kind of people. There are nice, kind, sweet priests, who understand that there are one God and many humans, there are warrior-priests, who are fighting in their way for their special religion. But, usually, there are much more kind priests than warriors. Myself, I never enter a church (a beautiful one) in Bucharest, because the priest asks the women to have their head covered in the house of God. I don’t enter there, but I am not upset. It’s his way. So, don’t be upset. Think of our beautiful country, which you love so much, and forget the few unkind persons who you met, by misfortune. There are here, as everywhere, bad humans, but not more than in every country in the world. Generally, Romanians are nice, tolerant people, despite Radu’s opinion.
- Oi the idiotOi
Sarah didnt say they dont believe. She said they dont revere. Get a pair of glasses and take your ignorant hatred and blindness elsewhere.
And if you thinbk this blog criticises Romania then you havent read it. Cretin. Typical example of the very people who misrepresent the country. Bravo Oi for being a shining example! - Romania as you know is a beautiful country - but what a shame it's habited in - not only by an ignorant population but by a manipulative, ignorant apology for the vehicle of God.
I am so sorry this happened to you, knowing what you have done for the children and the old people of this country the promotion you do and the love you have for it. A shame you didn't tell the priest your curriculum vitae re: Romania... he would have been ashamed of himself perhaps - but then again, perhaps not. Such people are too ignorant and too self important to care.
Silvia is right. Take heart. And ignore such people even though unfortunately they are given positions far too powerful for their pathetic powers of thought. You have unturned a stone and found a fat slug. There are others. But love us for who we are anyway - I know you will! And ignore Oi. he is just a sheep in any case and with the brains to match. - Sarah, dearSarah, it is unfortunate something like this happened to you. It is unfortunate and unfair. However it sounds to me like you just ran into a bunch of bigots. And bigots you can find anywhere, in all faiths and religions. I think it would be equally unfair to have the whole orthodox church responsible for this. I myself have had not very pleasant experiences while in England when it came either to my church/faith or my nationality. Most people I met there, when told I was an "orthodox", thought I was Jewish, then I had to add "Christian Orthodox" and I was still being stared at and then I had to start explaining I was just like the Greeks and blah blah blah until, at some point, I was somehow looking "normal" in the conversation. This if I was to get over the "oh, you're a country of gypsies" thing which is rather humiliating for a Romanian.
It is easy to get upset, Sarah. And those things you mentioned are really horrible and cruel...not to mention that I now think I have never heard of this stupid rule where an orthodox priest or nun cannot pray for somebody of a different denomination. That's ridiculous and I am pretty sure this is not what orthodoxy stands for. I am also sure, as I said, that you ran into a couple of bigots and bigots are what they are...orthodox or not.
When it comes to Romanians, as you can sadly notice, they tend to understand their own country and existence either as a continuous self deprecation (beautiful country unfortunately inhabited blah blah...as if they don't live here themselves) or the extreme nationalistic disgusting bullshit.
Oh, well...unfortunately the world is not "inhabited" by beautiful, good, intelligent people in general. If it was, we'd have a completely different world!
- Thank you SilviaFor your beautiful commentary regarding this lady, Sarah, whose blog I have followed for the past tree years.
Yes, Sarah had an unfortunate experience with that ignorant priest but, let's not forget that there are a lot of uneducated priests, former securitate officers who graduated in a hurry in order to be assigned to their missions abroad. I personally have not met a civilized, erudite priest in my entire life. Drunkards, smelly , ignorant, greedy priests, yes.
Regarding the nun.. it shows you how meek they are and how unable, how crippled they are to use the intelligence God gave them.
I also have to express my opinion regarding OI: He/she is a MORON and a necioplit. - To OiLike it or not, Romanina IS a primitive country; its popuilation still lives in the Middle Ages. And the priests are the worst, the majority of them do not have a good knowledge of history of religions because even their teachers are very poorly educated. Hence the obscurantism that prevails at the level of villages and not much can be done because nobody is interewsted in educating the masses of peasants. You must be one of them, sorry. Do yourself a favour and buy a book about Christian beliefs.
- Subiectul postarii este delicat, iar conform romanilor de azi, comentariile flaneaza cu gratie...
Sa nu uitam ca preotii ortodocsi au o stiinta slefuita in sute de ani de a evalua oamenii si a li se adresa (conform obligatiilor functiei)...desi printre ei se gasesc si multi fara vocatie sau conformisti dogmatici...
Ai povestit despre altii care te-au impresionat in bine...deci secretul este sa-i cauti si observi pe cei care pot inalta si vindeca sufletul...pe linia celor care s-au situat in istorie in fruntea apararii fiintei nationale...! - Article Hotnews: religionWell, here's an answer in Hotnews today (10th September) - truly lamentable - obscurism, intolerance, ignorance, fear, bigotry... all taught through a religious manual: http://www.hotnews.ro/stiri-esential-13195209-manuale-religie-care-promoveaza-intoleranta-religioasa-ong-cere-ministerului-educatiei-retragerea-urgenta-cartilor-din-scoli.htm?cfnl#.UE3KQuqswcY.facebook
I dare not comment further... - Intolerance and bigotry alive and well in RomaniaAs someone that left Romania 20-some years ago I sense the nationalist, xenophobic, and racist traits that are still alive and well in Romania. Generally speaking there is still little cultural or diversity tolerance in Romania.
Minorities, some large such as Roma /tigani (gypsies)and Hungarian ethnic minorities, others smaller such as homosexuals, and even tiny such as Jews (which all but disappeared from Romania) are stereotyped despised and reviled.
Stories (however trivial) even remotely related to Romania receive an inordinate amount of attention and comment sections inevitably spiral down to nationalistic remarks.
Since 1989 and especially since joining the EU, Romanians have traveled increasingly and have experienced other cultures as well as the reverse, foreigners like you that live in Romania. These interactions are quite helpful and in the long run, over decades to come, one would hope that these issues improve. - Dear Sarah,
I am sorry you had such a bad experience. About the last, unfortunately, there is not much to say. The best version would be that the priest (the monk, I think, priests aren't usually assigned to sell candles) was just being grumpy and misunderstood your genuine interest in the life of St. Teodora.
The least optimistic "reading" of the story, that he actually was that hateful, is just awful. I can only say that such an attitude are the exception rather than the rule. Yes, you will find people suspicious of strangers and harsh with the non-Orthodox, out of ignorance, prejudice, or small-mindedness (as you will find them anywhere), but most Orthodox are definitely not like that.
All the more because of the proximity in ritual and observances in our two Churches. Relations between the Orthodox Church and the Anglican Communion have been very close for decades, and wonderful initiatives like the Fellowship of St. Alban and St. Sergius in the UK celebrate just that. Many of the most excellent Orthodox theologians today and at least one of our dearest spiritual fathers (Fr. Rafail Noica) are English or partly of British (and formerly Church of England) descent. So we have many things to be grateful for, both from the UK, and your own Church of England.
As for the first part of your bad experience, it's a bit more delicate. Normally, as there is no intercommunion between the Orthodox Church and the Church of England,there is a rule stating that the non-Orthodox should not be mentionned at the Divine Liturgy (as prayers at that time are understood as a form of participating in Holy Communion). By the same rule, the Orthodox Christians living in deadly sin are not to be prayed for during Liturgy (that's harder to trace, though). Some stricter parishes and monasteries extend this to all Church services (some others will never bother to ask you if you'
re Orthodox, and never if you do live in deadly sin or not).
However, there is no formal rule agains praying for the non-Orthodox (or the abovementioned Orthodox) in private prayers. Quite the contrary. So what happened to you may either be a form of exaggeration on the part of the superior of the monastery, or the prayer intentions the nun was allowed to take were destined for Church services only, and the superior had given strict indications in the sense that you mention.
So, to conclude, you are likely to find in Romania both the unfortunate attitude you stumbled upon in this Church and the happy experiences you describe in your post on Tarnita. I sincerely hope you will not let yourself be discouraged by such event and persist in discovering more and more Romanian monasteries and churches, and that they may all be welcoming.
by the way, if you find yourself in the Rucar-Bran corridor on yr travels, you're very welcome....